The Second Half

Occasionally the second half of something is not the best part.
For example eating the second half of a container of ice cream results in a tummy ache and drinking the second half of a bottle of wine results in a hangover.
However, more often than not the second half is the best part.
It is the part of the movie where you get the happy-ever-after and the part of the novel where you find out who dunnit. In my life, right now, it is the part of the deployment where there is more time behind me than in front of me until I see Chris. Hooray!
For those of you just reading my blog for the first time (or for friends or family who live under a rock) Chris has been deployed for a little over 3 months now. He should (and I say should because with the military nothing is ever certain) be home in 3 months.
In the time since he has left I have been keeping myself as busy as possible. I work 50 hours a week, I go to the gym 3 days a week and run when it isn't too hot outside. I walk the dogs, do the laundry, vacuum and dust, grocery shop and pay the bills. I visited my sister in Memphis and my Mom came to Yuma. I have dinner with Bekah at least once a week and I go to the movies with friends or alone whenever I want. I have prayed for strength and peace. I paid our taxes for the second year running (someday Chris will be home in April). I went to Hawaii to visit friends, San Diego to visit more friends and Colorado for a wedding and to see family. I have congratulated 10 women on their pregnancies and I have tried to update my blog at least once a week. I have e-mailed Chris almost everyday and now that he is on dry land again I get to talk to him via Skype.
I have also cried over nothing, put the coffee away in the cabinet with the laundry soap, forgotten the groceries in the car overnight, yelled at the dogs for no reason and blamed deployments for everything. Everything ranging from a stubbed toe to bad weather to the porch light being burned out to having step throat twice in a row.
People have told me that I seem to be doing well and ask how I manage it. I will let you in on a secret folks.
I fake it.
Yup. I was a theater kid after all.
People do not particularly care to be part of your pity party most times so it is best to save that part of deployment life for cursing at inanimate objects alone in your empty house. When I leave the house I put on my happy face (you're never fully dressed without a smile...) and usually this helps set my day in the right direction. If you pretend that all is well than after a while it seems to be true. I cannot change the fact that not seeing Chris for half of a year stinks but I can decide whether or not I sit and cry about it all day every day. I know that Chris wouldn't want me to be miserable ALL the time so I try to enjoy the good stuff and pretend the rest doesn't exist.
I have one month of work left and then I am heading to Colorado with the dogs in tow to spend the last month of this deployment surrounded with friends and family and Rocky Mountains.
I cannot wait until there are few enough days left in this separation that having a countdown doesn't seem silly. I cannot wait to hang out with my husband and argue over TV programming. I cannot wait for my real life to resume.
Until then I will keep faking it and I will leave you with a quote from a fantastic woman.


Kate said...

You are my greatest inspiration.

I'm so proud to be your sister and I am SO thrilled I get to spend all of June with you. Try not to get sick of me because I'm going to be stuck to your elbow...what? Do you have a magenetic plate there too? Bring the Cheez-its.

KatOfDiamonds said...

Yay Colorado!!!
& also great blog doesn't really sound right.... =/ neither does hang tough because you are already rockin the strength card even if just to fake it...
so ill go with : xoxo